MIND YOUR STEPS TOWARDS A HAPPIER LIFE

This book is written by Mrs Helen Chan.She is my ex-colleague who is an experienced social worker and registered herbalist. She has studied Buddhism at Hong Kong University for years. I hope you can benefit from her book.





Imagine someone searching for some understanding, some answer to the confusion of life. This person knows that things aren’t quite right. There must be better ways to live one’s life than this. He or she searches and picks up yet another book and lo and behold finds the answer to his or her quest – THAT’S IT! _ and life changes forever.

Venerable Nanadassi

This book was made possible through the sponsorship and inspiration of someone who would like to remain anonymous but who would like to share with readers some of Buddha Shakyamuni’s basic teachings which have guided her through all her days – rainy or sunny, cold or warm. It is her sincerest wish that as little as one word or one phrase from this book would be remembered and made good use of by its readers in their search for a happier life. Though this book is based on the teachings of Buddha Shakyamuni, it is meant to be read by people of different religions, races and cultures; in short by anyone who wants to make his or her life more fulfilled.



If you do not find immediate answers to your queries about life in this book, or you find it difficult to accept what the book says, please give yourself and the book a second chance. Give time for circumstances to change, read it again, and see what happens.



Thanks to those who did the writing up, the brushing up, the designing, the translating and the proof-reading. To you the reader, your feedback will be most welcome. Please write to: “A Happier Life”, c/o M.D. GPO Box 4627, Melbourne, Victoria 3001, Australia.



May this book find its humble place in the raft which brings us ashore from the rough sea of human existence!                                                                                                              Asitis

Chapter One

The Case of Me-mine – Dichotomy versus Harmony

It was already after two o’clock in the afternoon. For the fifth time Mrs. Getwell knocked on the bedroom door of her twenty-four-year-old daughter, Me-mine. There was no answer, but she heard the sound of someone tossing around in the bed and it reassured her that Me-mine was still in her room. Looking out of the window, Mrs. Getwell saw another dreary, wet, cold winter’s day – the third in a row. Me-mine had not come out of her room for those three days.



It is not unusual for many who live in the temperate regions of the earth to dread the end of summer and the onset of winter. For some the dread can be very disabling. Winter to them becomes a debilitating and isolating time of the year. Me-mine had lost her job earlier in the year. As winter crept in, her energy had dissipated to the point where she was in a sort of “hibernation”. If this were to go on, Me-mine would be considered suffering from SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder – which is a depressive illness that has a seasonal pattern. The symptoms are slowing down and staying aloof from people.



In Me-mine’s case, she was obviously not happy when winter, with its cold, wet and dreary weather, set in. She wanted the world to align itself with her own wishes; but when it went against them she resented it and even shrank from it. The four seasons, each with its own beauty and wonder, come and go, following the laws of nature, with no intention either of offending or pleasing us. If we take the turning of the world personally, fancying “I” enjoy only the warm and sunny summer days while the cold and dreary winter days make “Me” sick and unhappy, then a whole chain of reaction entailing suffering for ourselves as well as for those around us is sure to occur.



In Me-mine’s case, there might have been more than one cause of her suffering, but the root cause, as with all other human sufferings, is the strong clinging to the SELF, to personal likes and dislikes and personal desires. This clinging to the SELF will result in a dichotomy of oneself and the outside world: the “I” and the “non-I”. Obviously, the “non-I” is bigger than the “I”. Nevertheless, to one who has not woken up from the sleep of ignorance, it is the “I” that appears bigger.



For Me-mine, the arrival of the cold winter days had widened the dichotomy alarmingly. We view the sensory world as pleasurable or painful, beautiful or ugly; but in reality it is neutral. If we look at the world from our ego-centric perspective, we get obsessed with such thoughts as “I only want pleasure, I don’t want pain. I want only beauty, I don’t want ugliness.” Such wishful thinking generates not only self-created desires but also self-created fears.

We desire more and more in order to give ourselves a sense of security – both material and emotional security. We want a house which can provide us with all the comforts we want, or we want love and a word of love even though we may not deserve it, in order to make ourselves feel happy and appreciated.

We are born with a physical body which is subject to ageing, illness and death. Even though we may be fortunate enough to be able to stay happy most of the time, we cannot escape the sufferings of life. But if we take the “downs” of life as a natural process instead of thinking “I am ageing”, “I am falling sick” and “I am dying”, then life is surely worth living. If we get upset when we see wrinkles and white hair when we look in the mirror, or fall into despair when we are diagnosed with cancer, or hold desperately onto our worldly possessions when we are coming to the end of our lives, we are creating additional or even greater suffering for ourselves. If we understand and accept life with all its limitations and failings, we can embrace the whole of human existence. If we accept “this is the way it is”, then we are able to accept the changes from sunny days to rainy days, from health to illness, from birth to death. In this way there is no greed, no anger and no delusion. We are able to cope with life as it unfolds.

This clinging to a SELF image is a state of the mind. Our state of mind is conditioned (but it can be re-conditioned) and directed (but it can also be re-directed). The choice rests entirely with us. Every human being has the ability to direct his or her own mind. The negative thoughts produce unwholesome emotions and reactions, while the positive thoughts enable us to solve problems and promote mental well-being. How do we re-direct or re-condition our mind towards the positive side of things? Let us examine Buddha Shakyamuni’s teaching on Dependent Origination, i.e. the Law of Cause and Effect. This teaching can guide us to look deeper into the true nature of things.



Summary: From birth we build up a SELF image for ourselves. The more we cling to this image, the more solid it becomes. It is like building up a hardened husk or shell that stops the seed from germinating. We turn ourselves into those “hard-to-crack nuts” which result in a dichotomy of ourselves and the external environment that prevents us from living in harmony with the outside world. We make ourselves unhappy because the outside world does not go as we desire. Our ever-wanting mind is a self-perpetuating habit and is itself painful. This is the root of our suffering. We may not be able to change things around us, but we are certainly endowed with the ability to change our own mind, to re-condition and re-direct our way of thinking, so as to liberate our mind from the hard shell that we have built for ourselves over the years. To lead a happier life amongst the many non-satisfactory things in life, we should change our old way of looking at things. We should learn to redirect our mind to lift pains and sufferings off the personal level by acknowledging that “this is suffering, this is the cause of it” (instead of this is MY suffering and someone or something is the cause of MY suffering); and we should exert efforts to bring about: “this is the end of it and this is the way to end it.” (instead of perpetuating a vicious cycle of pains and sufferings).

Chapter Two

Dependent Origination – The Law of Cause and Effect

According to the law of cause and effect, all phenomena are the result of causes and conditions. As such, they are impermanent. They go through the stages of formation, duration, decay and disappearance. The time taken for each stage as well as for the cycle to complete itself varies from a split second (like the popping up of a thought) to millions of years (like the formation of a geographical feature). Buddha Shakyamuni called this the law of dependent or conditioned origination, i.e. the arising of phenomena depending on other phenomena, with no unchanging substance behind the phenomena. Something arises because other contributing factors also arise. Something ceases because other contributing factors also cease. The gist of this universal truth of Dependent Origination is: This arises because that arises, this ceases because that ceases.” There is no one single cause responsible for the emergence of all phenomena; once a phenomenon has emerged, it cannot go on without the supporting conditions. It is like planting a seed. We provide favorable conditions for it to grow, such as sufficient water, sunlight and fertile soil. The seed will respond to these favorable conditions and eventually bear its own fruit. If the conditions are not favorable, the seed will wither. Different conditions will produce different results. We cannot just plant the cause and expect it to bear results without giving it the right conditions. Acquiring a university degree does not automatically lead us to a good job. It is up to us how we present ourselves, how other people recommend us, how favorable the job market is. A number of conditions work together to facilitate our hunting for a job.



However many circumstances are beyond our control. Let us look at the two biggest events in our lives. We begin with birth and end with death. Birth is the cause and death is the result. We cannot avoid death because we are given birth. However, we can change the conditions to make our lives healthier and happier (and even longer). It is up to us to create a favorable environment for our own well-being. If we understand that all phenomena are dependently originated, we will understand that we are a part of nature and that we are constantly interrelating with people and things in the external environment. This is what we call the network of interdependence. We may not like it, but we cannot deny that life is full of ups and downs. It is because life is dependent on so many factors, all working in very complex, intermingled ways as life goes through its different stages. The many factors which keep life going on its bumpy path are also subject to change. Sensual and material pleasures will not ultimately make us happy. Why? It is because such pleasures come and go while creating more and more craving and thus blinding us to the nature of things as they truly are.



Much is beyond our control, and many are the desires beyond our reach. But fortunately for us there is always one powerful factor which is absolutely under our control and that is our MIND , our way of thinking and looking at things. A positive mind obviously sees things very differently from a negative mind. The cold and dreary winter days can be inspiring for some and depressing for others.



If we understand and accept the fact of impermanence, the impermanence of all that is animate and inanimate in the universe, then we will find it easier to reflect on and contemplate things as they truly are. We shall then be able to see things more clearly. This is the surest way to restore our inner peace. Impermanence is not pessimism. Rather, it is realism. Impermanence in itself is not a problem. The problem arises only when we see permanence in impermanence. Impermanence is actually full of wonders. It makes change possible; it makes room for transformation, improvement and creativity. It is because of impermanence that “fate” is not irrevocably determined. Our so-called “fate” is subject to changes in circumstances. It is only when we cling onto a SELF which gives us a sense of false security that we are afraid of impermanence. We cling to past memories and habitual behaviours without seeing the ever-changing nature of ourselves and all phenomena. We fail to see how Dependent Origination works because we are only concerned about the results. We lament and regret when we fail or we are carried away by success, without reflecting on the causes and conditions leading to such results. A mind not able to see the true nature of phenomena is called the “deluded mind” by Buddha Shakyamuni. How can we be truly happy if we carry this deluded mind with us?



When we understand and accept the universal truth of Dependent Origination we shall be able to bear dissatisfaction with greater courage and ease of mind, while accepting satisfaction with more gratitude and humility. It is because we shall know that good or bad situations do not last forever because the contributing conditions are changing all the time. In coping with dissatisfaction, we shall be able to pull ourselves together to bring about conditions that enable us to turn things around. While enjoying satisfaction, we should be thankful to the people and circumstances which have helped to make our dreams come true. We must constantly cultivate more and more favourable conditions within ourselves so that outside conditions, too, will change in our favour.



Summary: Given the right conditions, a seed will germinate, grow, bloom and bear fruit. The fruit, in turn, will bear another seed awaiting the right conditions to start another cycle of existence. The appearance of all phenomena, including our own existence, depends on many factors which change all the time. Impermanence is the true nature of everything. In our quest for security, we tend to solidify things and the biggest of all things to be so solidified is our SELF image. We also  attach ourselves to people and things, taking them as permanent. It is like going against the ever-changing tide. The more we grasp, the more we get trapped. When we understand how the law of Dependent Origination affects our lives, we can become more tolerant, more accommodating, more grateful, and even more compassionate.

Chapter Three

Hindrance to a Clear Mind – The SELF Notion

What is the main hindrance to a clear mind? From birth we build up our self-view, which is heavily influenced by our personal experiences and by the external environment. This self-view very often becomes rigid, assumes permanence, and discriminates against things and people that we do not like. The bigger the self-view, the more we suffer. It is because the natural and inevitable sufferings of life are inappropriately magnified by this SELF notion. It is why, when we are moving towards old age, that we go to great lengths to maintain our physical appearance rather than our physical health, not to mention our mental health. There is a mix-up in our priorities.



As human beings, we like stability and continuity because the human race survives better in a safe and secure environment. A happy child is believed to be one who is brought up in a stable environment. All of the child’s sense-bases are open to contact and stimulation, which generates a sense of continuity and security, like the daily routines of meal times, play times and sleep times provided by the same people. However, the truth is that all phenomena are unstable and impermanent. For example, a child eventually has to leave home for school. The first day of school generates varying degrees of separation anxiety for all children and is even painful for some. A child’s unhappiness arises because new circumstances arise. He is taken away from his old environment. To help him cope, parents, teachers, and even old toys all play a part, but what is most important is that the child lets go. That way he will eventually settle down in the new environment.

 

A baby begins to develop the sense of SELF very early in life when she starts seeing herself as a separate entity from her mother or mother substitute. Modern research points to a definite self-identity by the time a baby is only six months old. Looking back at our own upbringing, we can see the many external things, ideas and teachings which have shaped our internal development of the SELF. This sense of SELF is important for our existence in the physical world. We need it to protect ourselves from physical danger and to continue the human race. Our self-image has a strong bearing on our psychological state. A self-image that is compatible with expectations will boost our psychological well-being, while a self-image which cannot stand up to expectations will be very undermining. Since circumstances are always changing, if we measure our self-image against all these factors, we shall find it hard to come to terms with ourselves. We are affected too much by the ever-changing trends of fashion, by expectations, and by ideologies. Our mind is constantly in a state of flux, like a monkey jumping from one branch to another, without any peaceful moments. Can such a SELF notion be the source of true happiness?

 

To nourish the SELF, there are three kinds of desire:

(1)  desire for sensual pleasure,

(2)  desire to become, and

(3)  desire to get rid of. 



The first is for sensual pleasure via the body or the other senses. It is the constant seeking of things to excite or please our senses. The second desire is tied to ambition and attainment. It is the sense of wanting to become something other than what we are right now. The third desire often arises when we are disillusioned with trying to become something; then we want to get rid of things. Desires, like all other phenomena, arise and cease. If we perpetuate our desires and cling onto them, our inner peace and happiness will be undermined.  To let go desires, we need to recognize them but not identify with them. Letting go desires, we will tone down our SELF notion and be happier people.

 

A sense of “I” is inevitably tied to a sense of “You or Others”. This dualistic mind of ours makes us compare, discriminate /defend or take side.  It is like adding fuel onto our pains and sufferings. How often do we feel upset if we cannot keep ourselves up with others in their achievement? How often are we disturbed by people who do not have similar disposition, views and background as ours? How flattered are we when people side with us in what we are advocating?  If we treat people and things with this dualistic mind, even our kind acts can be imbued with a certain degree of selfishness. We may offer someone a kind word or a helping hand with the hope of some form of payback, even if it is only a sense of personal gratification or adding another number to the people we have helped. How often do we say we love someone with our whole heart? When that love is not returned, our love can turn into jealousy and anger. Our kind and loving acts were tainted in the first place if we acted out of a dualistic mind, which sees “Others”, (including the external world), as something from which to gain benefit to boost our SELF image or to discriminate against in order to defend our SELF image. Will we enjoy inner peace and harmony if we act on such a dualistic mind?



 

Summary: Our sense of SELF has its practical uses: the two major ones are protecting our survival and boosting our self-confidence. However, the SELF can be unduly magnified with desires: for sensual pleasure, to become somebody important, and to get rid of undesirable things.  It is like mixing mud in a glass of clear water. Our mind will be blurred by a SELF notion inflated by desires. Suffering arises when we assume permanence for a SELF image and look at this world with a dualistic mind where there is an “I” and a “You or Others” to compare, to discriminate against or to defend.

Chapter Four

Playing a Responsible Role – The Five Precepts

 

All things are mutually dependent. As part of this system, we have a responsible role to play. To enable us to live in harmony with other beings in this world, there are five very basic precepts we have to observe. These precepts work to protect ourselves as well as others. People in prison have violated the Five Precepts in one way or another. For instance, those who have committed murder, manslaughter or assault have violated the precept against killing. Those who are guilty of corruption or robbery have violated the precept against stealing. Pornography, rape, abduction and prostitution are all examples of violating the precept against sexual misconduct. Blasphemy and cheating violate the precept against lying. The precept against intoxicants includes alcohol, heroin, cocaine and other illegal drugs. All of these damage the mind’s cognitive abilities and lead one to do irrational acts which will result in law-breaking.

If we can internalize the spirit of the precepts, we shall not be driven by impulses and desires. Our mind will remain calm and clear and our concentration will develop. We shall be able to see the rising and ceasing of our thoughts, how deluded our thoughts are, and how they affect us. With a clear mind, we shall be able to see the true nature of both our thoughts and other phenomena, and wisdom will dawn on us. With the invention of cell phones and the internet, we are more wired together than ever; yet the excitement of the senses has become so heightened with all these new inventions that we are unable to concentrate and to reflect. It is easy to see why disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder are on the rise.

 

If we are unable to concentrate, we shall not develop a clear mind with which to contemplate. If we cannot see the true nature of things, we become slaves of circumstances and get trapped in our SELF view. The “deluded mind” exists in a latent state as self-consciousness, which is manifested as a habitual state of mind such as conceit or self-criticism, or as selfish physical or verbal activity. It requires a clear mind to reflect on how we act, speak and think in order to develop insight into this latent state and our habitual moods.

 

Summary: We cannot survive on our own since we have to depend on so many people and things for our existence. From the viewpoint of the law of Dependent Origination, we should be thankful all the time and hold ourselves responsible for keeping our world a safe, fair and harmonious place to live in. The five precepts of not killing, not stealing, not committing adultery, not lying and not taking alcohol/ drugs are derived from this sense of responsibility.  There are like rules in a game which bind players together to hold a fair and safe play. The spirit of these precepts is to protect us from harming ourselves, other people and things by curbing impulsive and irresponsible behaviours so that our SELF image is not unduly inflated and we can develop a clear mind to see the true nature of phenomena.

Chapter Five

The Case of Mrs Pastwards – A Study of the Thinking Process

Let us examine a case of guilt, which is one of the most common afflictions in human relationships, in order to see how our thinking process controls our emotions and behaviour – even tortures us. It is the understanding of the thought process that is important, not what we think about. Since we are always busy grasping and clinging, we are easily caught up in craving, greed, envy and attachment. This mood of the mind pops up automatically because it is connected to our usual way of thinking; to our conditioned psychological make-up, our habitual reactions and impulses. The SELF is a result of conditioning and habitual responses and impulses; it is a collection of all our past experiences. This conditioned SELF constantly updates itself with new daily experiences which become additional memory or knowledge. Thinking is a result of memory, past experience and knowledge, but it projects itself into the future. If we observe our mind, we will see that we are either thinking about the past or thinking, planning, worrying about the future. On the other hand, awareness or mindfulness is a different aspect of the mind. It is always in the present moment. It is not related to the past or future. It can free the mind from the bondage of the past and the projection into the future. It is the unconditioned state of being, often referred to as the “original mind”.

 

Mrs Pastwards had wrapped herself in guilt for not having taken care of her mother who had passed away sixteen years ago. During those sixteen years, she had felt haunted and punished by the ghost of her late mother. She could not sleep well and, though she was a wealthy woman, she did not enjoy the sensual pleasures which her money was able to buy her. In times of illness, her worry intensified that she would be treated the same way by her children; that she would have the same tragic and unhappy death as her mother. A Buddhist teacher told her to live more in the present and less in the past. Her “I” or “me” notion had been built up by a collection of memories put together by the thinking process. Her guilt became solidified because over the years she had developed a rigid pattern of thinking. It had become an automatic, mechanical, repetitive process which had kept alive the memories with their associated emotions. Mrs Pastwards began to realize that she had been living in the past and clinging to the memory of her mother. She was tortured by guilt, mainly because of her restless mind and her inability to free herself from the past. In her case, guilt was the fear of being considered a “bad daughter” by the rest of her family, the fear of public opinion and of what others said or thought about her. The opinions or expectation of others are very often a very powerful force in shaping our SELF image and in binding us to living up to them. For sixteen years she carried an image of herself as being this “bad daughter” and she had turned this self-image into a permanent and solidified entity.

 

Guilt, anxiety, hope, worry, insecurity and fear are all connected. They are created by self-centred thinking and the strong desire to have, to become, to achieve or to get rid of. We may feel safe, solid and secure when we look back on the past. But with awareness we can begin to see that thoughts, emotions and memories are not permanent. They come and go like clouds in the sky, like the stars we see when we rub our eyes. The present is not a fixed and static state. The energy of attention or awareness keeps our mind in the present moment, whereas the energy of thinking takes us away from the present. The former is restful, united, spacious and immediate, while the latter is restless, scattered, restrictive and linear.

 

To free herself from her negative feelings, Mrs Pastwards first had to forgive that young, immature person of more than sixteen years ago for not being patient with and considerate of her sick and helpless mother. The letting-go of the past and the diversion of energy to the present would set her free from her long-existing guilt. With the gradual development of a free mind, Mrs Pastwards’ heart grew spacious as well. She practised transmitting loving-kindness not only to her late mother but also to all other beings in this world. Loving-kindness and compassion like this is generated when we are free from the bondage of the SELF. It makes us aware that we are not the only people in the world with problems. To be compassionate is to empathize with the suffering of others. Our loving-kindness is the sincere wish for ourselves and others to be happy, peaceful and free from problems and harm.



Summary: Our minds are thinking all the time even when we are sleeping; that is why we have dreams. Our thoughts flow non-stop like a running river carrying mud and debris from the past. Our minds will be fixated and blurred by these sediments and we shall go on thinking with such distortions. We tend to cling to old memories and experiences. To free ourselves from the past and to stop ourselves from anticipating the future, we should learn to focus our minds on the present moment, because only the present moment is real. With a liberated mind, our heart can grow spacious and accommodating. Once we stop looking through the “I” perspective, we shall be able to treat other people and things with compassion and equanimity.

Chapter Six

Settling the MIND – The Beauty of “Let It Be”

Once, the Buddha was travelling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, the Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake.” The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to the Buddha to drink?” So he came back and told the Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again the Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake. The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed the Buddha about the same. After some time, again the Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to the Buddha. The Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own – and you have clear water.”

Our mind is like that too! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. If we spend our energy turning to outside means to calm our mind, we will stir up more restlessness in ourselves.



Summary: Clarity of the mind comes from inside. Looking outside of the mind is like stirring muddy water with a stick: the more effort we put in, the muddier the water becomes.

Chapter Seven

Training of the Mind – A Reflective Mind versus a Reactive Mind                                                                        

                                                                                        

Normally we are caught up and swept away in the rapid “mind stream”, in the fast-flowing movement of thoughts and images. So it is difficult to see things clearly; we are led astray by our mental activity. It is like when we are travelling in a fast-moving vehicle; it is very difficult to see the passing landscape clearly. But if we drive or walk slowly, it is easier to see things as we pass. Likewise, if we can calm our mind by focusing on something which comes from within ourselves and which is repetitive and often taken for granted, like our breathing, we can train our mind to see things more clearly and objectively. In the state of calm attention or mindfulness, we are able to see more intimately the changing and impermanent nature of our mind and body. Thoughts come and go, body sensations arise and cease. We know a thought has popped up but we do not have to open the thought-folder to read or to think about the contents. We are aware of the numbness in our feet or the cold air we inhale, but we just let it be because sensations are changing all the time. If we put in effort to chase after the sensation, either to get rid of it or to maintain it, we are stirring muddy water with a stick and will never be able to see things clearly.



There are many different ways to train our minds, but there is one essential point common to all good practice. It is freedom from the craving and clinging mind with its attachments and obsessions. Learning how to observe our mental state and reactions with awareness and letting them go is of the utmost importance. Our mind holds the key to our happiness or suffering. A click of the mind will change happy things to painful things and vice versa.



From habit, we tend to react to happenings around us. The mind needs to be re-wired or re-conditioned to reflect and not to react. For example, when faced by suffering, we tend to avoid it or try to get rid of it, instead of reflecting on the pain which arises from suffering, the cause of the suffering, and the way to handle it wisely. We should look at suffering not from the perspective of “it is mine”, but simply acknowledge that there is this suffering without making it personal or reacting to it in our usual way. We tend to interpret our suffering as “I am suffering” and expect people around us to give in to our demands, or we even seek compensation and finding scapegoats for our suffering. This is the way our mind is conditioned. Our mind clings to a SELF view or image. Through this we discriminate, we select what we like, and try to suppress what we do not like.



We cannot do away with desires, passions and habits by ignoring them or by suppressing them. But as soon as they appear, we should be aware of them, look them in the face, accept them and let them be the way they are. As habits and passions are part of our daily life, we have ample opportunities to cultivate the reflective mind actively and effectively. Desires and passions do not cause suffering. It is the grasping of them that brings suffering. Grasping means being deluded by them, by thinking it is “me and mine”; for example, “I don’t like the way I am now. I have to become something else or I have to get rid of something before I can become what I want to be.”



The origin of suffering is the attachment to desire which we need to let go of. We need to recognize desire but not identify with it. Listen to it with scant attention, not saying it is good or bad, but merely recognizing it for what it is. If we train our mind to contemplate desires when they arise and listen to them without taking action, we are actually detaching ourselves from those desires. By just leaving them to be the way they are, we shall realize that desires can be laid aside. Letting go of things means we leave them as they are; it does not mean avoiding them or throwing them away, which may give rise to aversion. When we are feeling depressed and negative and we try not to indulge the feeling, that very moment of non-indulgence is an enlightenment experience. But we have to find this out through practice in our daily life. There are moments when we become very critical of everything and of ourselves. Take time to listen to the complaining mind, bring it into consciousness. The more we contemplate and investigate our thoughts, the more the insights - the seeing things for what they are - arise. That is not the mind of fixed views and prejudices that thinks it knows it all or takes what other people say as the truth. We need a mind that can reflect on and contemplate to lead us out of suffering.



Thus there is no “I” to cling to, there is no “YOU” to judge, there is no past to regret, there is no future to foretell. The response to life becomes clear and beneficial because the response does not come from us on a personal level or from any of our mental formulations. We observe the restlessness and the compulsiveness of the mind and let them go. We let them go and they cease. Then we are living in the true sense of the word, because we are living in the here and now in a state of mindfulness.



Summary: A reflective mind is the result of training which involves giving up clinging and grasping, focusing on the present moment, and looking less from the “I” perspective but more from the interdependent nature of things. Our minds become like clear and calm water and our hearts open up. There is peace of mind and loving-kindness in the present moment.

Chapter Eight

The Practice of Mindfulness – Living in the Here and Now

We are born with the ability to be mindful. Just watch how an infant sucks his milk from the bottle or from his mother’s breast. He is putting in all his energy and attention to the sucking without the slightest distraction. However, as we grow, the more distractions we demand at meal times – the television for instance. We may not even know what we are eating! We let our mind wander from what our body is doing, and as a result there is a split between mind and body. This can show up especially in habitual activities such washing our face, cleaning our teeth, eating our meals and so on. Such a dichotomy of mind and body can have a negative impact on what we are trying to accomplish. If we let our mind drift into the past or into the future instead of anchoring it in the present, then our mind will control us rather than we control our mind. The secret of a happy and fulfilled life is to do what needs to be done HERE and NOW. We cannot re-shape the past, nor can we determine the future. There is but one moment of time over which we have the greatest conscious control and that is the present.



Mindfulness is clear awareness of what is happening each moment. It brings our full attention, our whole heart and mind, to each moment. Most of our time we live like on automatic pilot, half asleep and unaware of what we are doing and what is going on around us. However, it does not matter what results at the end. All that is necessary is to attend to what we are doing with full awareness and in a wholehearted way, so that the very doing is in itself satisfying. Mindfulness is observing and experiencing without reacting. It allows us to notice what is just here; to receive each experience without judgement, grasping or aversion. It allows us to perceive our senses directly without the intervention of any kind of analysis, comparison or interpretation. Practising mindfulness gives our mind steadiness, calmness and equanimity. It is a universally applicable quality since it helps us in all what we want to do, whether it is playing tennis or playing music. It keeps us from being caught up in the vortex of life’s changing circumstances. Even in moments of fear, confusion and peril, when mindfulness arises, it helps us see our situation clearly and brings us into a state of psychological balance. The mind becomes concentrated through gentle and gradual practice, and not through strain and struggle. If only we can let go of anxiety about the past and the future, then we can relax into the present.



The most basic object for the practice of mindfulness is the breath. It is the process of focusing and steadying attention on our in-breathing and out-breathing. Despite distractions, we should be able to bring the mind back to the breath again and again. We mindfully feel the air coming in and going out of our nose. We keep observing our breath until it becomes light and natural, calm and peaceful. At any time, whether we are walking, sitting, sewing or typing, we can return to our breathing, which gives us not just the oxygen we need but also peace and tranquillity – if we know how to pay attention to it. It requires us to let go of thoughts of the past and future, of fantasies and attachments, and to bring the mind back to the actual moment of feeling, of touching the breath as it is. Concentration like this comes with practice; remember –the mind can be trained.



The ultimate purpose of developing mindfulness is to have the mind under our control and not the other way round. It is a case of staying focused, attentive and concentrated. Concentration means the unification of the differentiated mind. Our mind is normally differentiated: it is attracted by attractive things and repelled by repulsive things. Things in themselves are neutral. It is our habit of imposing our own value judgement on them that makes them attractive or repulsive. A mind which is concentrated is very powerful. It is like a vast mass of water gushing through a narrow tunnel to turn a wheel and produce electricity. As Buddha Shakymuni says, a person with a concentrated mind can see things as they actually are. This is the relevance of concentration to wisdom. It is through wisdom that we can identify the three radical roots of moral evil, namely passion, aversion and delusion. These are the three fires referred to by Buddha Shakyamuni when he says that the world is on fire. It is only when we have identified the psychological mainsprings of all moral evils that we can eliminate them without leaving any residue. The elimination of passion, aversion and delusion is complete emancipation. Emancipation means the cessation of the three fires. It is not the extinction of anything else.

 

Summary: Concentration means steadying the mind. It is like a candle flame in a windless place. The light is steady and it can illuminate a greater area. The candle is, so to say, one-pointed in its use of energy. In these our most concentrated moments we can sense the unity of our body and mind. This is the true meaning of whole-heartedness. A concentrated mind can generate wisdom because it can see things as they actually are. With wisdom we can eliminate the three fires of passion, aversion and delusion and attain complete emancipation.

Chapter Nine

The Use of Meditation – An Exercise to Inner Happiness

We live in an era of remarkable material development which has produced numerous benefits. However it is clear that despite this progress human problems have not been entirely eliminated. Political and ideological conflicts prevail between nations while at the individual level people continue to experience fear, anxiety and other forms of dissatisfaction. This indicates that material development alone is not sufficient, there is an urgent need for a corresponding inner, mental development. An excellent means for achieving this is meditation. There are many varieties of meditation but what they generally have in common are techniques for making the mind peaceful. Two of the features which distinguish Buddhist traditions of meditation are insight and compassion. The more we become familiar with the mind and come to realize impermanence, suffering and selflessness in our own lives through meditation, the more we empathize with  other sentient beings and the kind heart of compassion grows naturally within us. This is important both in the individual’s pursuit of happiness and in his contributing to the peace of the world.

The Dalai Lama

Why do we have to meditate? Meditation is a dynamic, living process out of which new perspectives and new ways of understanding and appreciating our lives continually emerge. As we follow the path of meditation, we discover a process of opening and deepening, a clearing and emptying of the mind and the heart. It is like emptying a cup and refilling it with wisdom.



First, it is opening what is closed in us. We spend so much of our precious time lost in thought, in judgement, in fantasy and in daydreaming. These prevent us from paying careful attention to the direct experience of our senses – to sight and sound, to smell and taste, to sensations of the body. As awareness and concentration become stronger through meditation, we experience a much greater sensitivity and refinement of our sense impressions. We also begin to open the body. As we direct our awareness inward, we begin to experience in a very clear and intimate way our accumulated tensions. Instead of pushing them away or closing our eyes on them, we can soften our mind, so that it becomes more receptive and more relaxed. When there is pain in the body, instead of resisting and pushing it away, we remain open and experience the sensation of tightness as it arises and ceases. Instead of complaining “My back hurts”, we open our body up and feel the sensations of the sore back. From this we move on to see what is actually happening: the arising and ceasing of sensations. In this way, we begin a process of untying the knots and unblocking the blocks in our own system. We begin to allow for a freer flow of energy, and that is very healing.



Second, it is balancing what is reactive: liking and disliking, judging and comparing, clinging and condemning. Meditation offers salutary mindfulness. It is neither holding on nor avoiding. It is the settling back into the present moment, opening up to what is there. When we remain non-reactive, we are able to notice what is happening in each moment. In every moment of mindfulness, whatever is its object, whether it is the breath, sensations or sounds, thoughts or emotions, it is necessary simply to note what is there. Then our mind ceases to be reactive. There is only the awareness of what is present.



Third, it is exploring what is hidden. An essential part of meditation practice is going from the level of concept to the level of direct experience. Sit for an hour and we get pain in our knees: “Ouch, my knees hurt.” Yet “knee” is a concept. There is no sensation called “knee”. That is not what we feel. We feel tightness, pressure, tingling. These sensations are what we experience. We confuse the concepts of the thinking mind with the reality of direct experience. The concepts or the names we give to things remain unchanged; names are solidified concepts. Identification with concepts leads to “I-making” and “my-making”, the notion of “I”, “me” and “mine”. It is not the knee that hurts. It is “my knee” that hurts.



As long as we stay on the conceptual level, we are unable to see the momentary nature of phenomena. When we come to what is truly happening, we see that the experience is changing every instant. In meditation we investigate the hidden level of direct experience. Whether it is bodily sensations, or sight or sound or smell or taste, we begin to experience the nature and process of thoughts and emotions. We discover that everything is changing; every sensation, every thought, every feeling, every sound and every taste. They are all in a state of continual dissolution. This understanding of dissolution dissolves our grasping and our attachment. We see that this “I” is an illusion, a concept we have created. As we lessen our attachment there is a corresponding reduction in our grasping and clinging; there is also less suffering. We begin to let go. Allowing for the unstoppable flow of change, rather than trying to hold on to it, we learn to let go.





Summary: In affluent countries, our senses are gratified by all sorts of material stimulations which are taken for granted by most of us. We look outward to find our sources of satisfaction, only to find our desires more and more insatiable. Therefore the most emphatic need is to train our minds to look inwards for greater fulfillment. The best training is through meditation. To learn something so different from our habituated way of life, we need to first empty our cups; the more old stuff we pour out, the more new will flow in. Old habits have a strong hold on us. It requires great determination and perseverance for us to empty our cups.

May Impermanence be understood

May craving and clinging be let go;

                                             May loving-kindness be radiated;

                                            May every step be a mindful step;

  May every thought be a reflective thought;

                                         May every moment be a happy moment;

                                       Provided we live in the present moment.